Thursday, December 15, 2011

Cake Baking

So over at Butter Scotch I've been crazy busy. I'm definitely not complaining. Butter Scotch "officially" launched at the end of October and I've been so blessed with requests almost every weekend. I'm so happy and have so much work to do to develop the company that it has taken away from other pots such as my hair pot, my weight loss pot, my laundry pot, my shopping for myself pot, and lots of others that shall remain nameless, lol.

One of the pots I think about all the time, however, not had the time to finish a post about is the political pot. I had an awesome post about Herman Cain, aka, the Cain train, aka the most wanted baby's daddy, aka the uncle who made you a lesbian, aka, Clarence Thomas' cousin, however I have stalled and his career is over before I could press the publish button.

Oh well, I have another one brewing on one of my favorite anal rapist Newt Ginchrich so stay tuned!

I'm going to publicly post my resolutions here as 1/1/2012 will be the one year anniversary of This Moment and I plan to celebrate by getting my sexy back and stop all the cake baking...well actually, the baking isn't the problem, its more so the eating.

I'm going to work on my version of the Herman Cain 9-9-9 plan which involves me doing 9 push ups, 9 sit ups and 90 minutes of cardio until Amber Rose peeks her pink and blond head back into my psyche.

Wish me luck.

Oh, and I know this post was mad random but so am I as of late. I have a lot of good hair, political, life topics coming to you soon...so please...believe in me, lmao.

Let's Get Straight!

So its T minus 20 minutes and I'm on my way to the hair dresser to get my hair straightened (blown out and flat iron) and trimmed for the first time since starting this journey. Aside from my quick little home projects that were #fails.

It has been almost 15 months into my journey and I'm quite excited to see how starting off with a bald head to now will go. I'm so nervous and my sphinture is tight...inappropriate I know.

I can't wait to post pictures of my before and after shots. It should be interesting. I really can't wait to just run my fingers through my hair for a couple of days. Its been raining here so hopefully it doesn't ruin it too.

Ahhhhh, if i could scream outloud I would but I won't but I want to...

Scared Straight

So, a couple of weeks ago I did this...



I straightened the fro! This is me in the city outside of work. I wore a hat most of the time I had it straight because I didn't love the thinness of my hair. I felt naked without my naps! I liked the look with the hat though and it worked for a couple of days.

I straightened it not because I wanted to, but because I needed to get my ends clipped. I went to Salon Revive in DC and they were ok. I went to them because they got good yelps but I felt my service was a little rushed. I've only been to the hairdresser in DC a few times and every time I've had to go home and do something more to it.

Anyhoo, I'm glad I went. My curls look great since I did it and I feel its so much easier to detangle! I will try to scare myself to straighten at least 3 or 4 times a year.

We'll see!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

I just celebrated the 10th Anniversary of my 21st Birthday! Yes, time has gone by. I can't say its flown though, but its ticking away.

When I actually turned 21, I don't remember what I did. I barely drank back then. I'm sure my sister got me bottles of Moet (because she was just freakin' fly like that) and we had a random house party or something. My birthday's then were so uneventful and now...they are main events that last days, weeks, even the whole month!

This year my hubby treated me to a Cancun Vacation. It was absolutely breathtaking and amazing. I'd been to Cancun before with the bestie but we did it the hood way and didn't go all inclusive or allow ourselves any pampering. We just roughed it! It was def a trip that went down in our history, but this trip was its trump!

We stayed at the Fiesta Americana Condesa and I fully endorse this place. If you know me, I'm mad serious about reviews and this place consistently receives the highest reviews on trip advisor. I know why...they spoil the shit out of you. They make you feel like they are your bff's and they never want you to leave. I will remember this vacay forever...well whichever parts I can reember. Below is my photo montage of the birthday!






Including my random birthday party with my vacation friends...



And my smoking hot body in this bikini...I heart that bikini...

Its so nice going and being at an age where I don't care. I don't care about my tiger strips (stretch marks), cellulite, etc...I just cared about my glass staying full along with my belly!

I cannot wait to celebrate the 16th Anniversary of my Sweet 16 Birthday next year! Its going down!

Grease is Back!!!

YEAHHHHHH!!!

So if you follow natural hair blogs, you will see grease is all the rave right now. I remember a few months after I first started my journey Nikki Mae put out a "taboo" post about using mineral oils and this was like forbidden fruit. Now Curly Nikki has come out and said it and its like, secret grease users are coming out the wood work. People confessing to using vaseline, Dax, Blue Magic...its a revolution. And I love the revolution!!!

I was a big grease user pre BC. Me and Lil' K swore by Blue Magic's Coconut Oil (BMCO). I loved it for her hair, it kept it moist long, however, I would do the naughty and grease both our scalps. Which I learned through being natural actually causes our dry hair. I stopped doing that and we both benefit from a little raw coconut oil on the scalp after a wash.

Now that grease has been tried and true by naturals I love, I had to give it a try. And what better time to try it before going to Cancun, Mexico for my bday with the hubby! I did a wet twistout with my BMCO and whalah! Best twist out ever!!


The reason I don't do twist outs much is because its too much frizz for me and they don't come out that good, but this was moist, shiny and great! It was so soft. I didn't even use a hold product. Just Giovanni Direct Leave In and a lil dab of grease on each twist!

Even when we got to Mexico I decided to pull it up and put it in a puff and whahlah! Best puff ever!


It maintained a curly look and not super dry and uneven. I love this grease factor.

Of course after washing everyday and getting in the pool, ocean, the BMCO was no match, but my hair still did well (better than I thought) for 5 days in Mexico. I wore it up mostly with one quick lunch down (i'd just washed it and didn't feel like putting it up).


So I stamp my approval, grease has helped me get the hair I want and seal in the moisture like only Blue Magic can do! I'm so glad its back in full effect!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

My Natural Soro: Monique

Before I took the leap to natural hair, sometime in June/July of 2010, I saw this young lady on facebook. Now, she is not just some regular random lady, she is f'ing amazing! She is from my hometown Detroit and we went to high school together. We both used to rock the old Halle Berry hair style back in the day  and I always loved her spirit. She was always so sweet, but you knew she didn't take no stuff...and today, she took that amazing spirit and is now a lawyer in California! I love to brag on my Detroit, Cass Tech (fired up) folks. Detroit gets a bad wrap, but I know so many successful men and women who are born and breed in the D!

I saw Monique and her hair on facebook and it was like, wow! So beautiful. She has what I call good hair! Thick, full, and healthy! Mo is so creative with her styles. She became one of my first natural hair crushes! Its my pleasure to bring to you her interview. I'm sure we can all learn a lot from this fierce Chica!



How long have you been natural?
I have been natural since October 29, 2009; so almost 2 years now.

Did you transition or just big chop?
I transitioned for all of 2 weeks. I had zillions for about 3 months before those transitional 2 weeks. After removing the zillions I decided that I wouldn’t perm my hair anymore and started transitioning. After another 2 weeks of dealing with 2 different textures, I couldn’t take it anymore and took the scissors to my head one
day after work.

Why did you go natural?
I live in Southern California... Orange County to be exact. Needless to say resources for black hair care are few and far between. It was very difficult for me to find a stylist to maintain my permed hair. And even when I finally did you know nobody does hair like they do it in the D  or even the Chi for that matter (which is where I was living before I came here). So, though my hair was growing, it was thin, limp and just plain not fly lol. So I decided to get zillions to tide me over till I finished studying for and taking the Cali bar exam. After I finished that, I took the zillions down and saw this mass of multi-textured hair atop my head and I said to myself, why not try to rock your natural texture? So I went for it.

It also helped that one of my best friends has been natural for about 8 years now and has the absolute flyest curls on the planet. I really wanted to see what my hair would do in its natural state.

Were you attached when you made the decision? If so, did your mate have an opinion?
I was engaged at the time (now married) to a wonderful, understanding and open-minded man! My husband is white, not that it matters much, but I think that made him more open to embracing all the different sides of me. He didn’t really have a preference of which hair style I rocked as long as I was happy so there was no bias there towards relaxed or natural, he just wanted me happy. So he was very encouraging. And then once I went natural – oh Lord!!! He quickly developed an opinion – which was and is still DO NOT EVER PERM YOUR HAIR AGAIN lol! He LOVES my natural hair, which is so funny cause let me be perfectly honest in saying that I don’t have that cute, curly ringlet natural hair – I’ve got that break yo comb, straight up kinky with a twist natural hair lol. And he loves every bit of it! Couldn’t ask for a better mate!

What is your favorite style so far?
Given the texture of my hair I’ve come to the determination that curl definition is not something that is meant for me lol. So I’m partial to twists. But my hair is also still fine and thin so individual 2 strand twists still don’t quite look right on me at the moment – maybe with a little more length they will look better. So my go to style is often flat twists going up the back and the sides with single twists in the front.  I love this style:
 1) because it lasts me about a week or two and
 2) it’sa great protective style.



I can untwist the front to make it a little funky or leave it in twists and be on my way. Very low maintenance. The only problem with it is that my hair is very dry so when it is up in flat twits it gets even more dry because
I’m not able to get in their and really moisturize. But now, I have figured out how to keep my hair moisturized during while in twists – I drench my head while in the shower (still twisted), then rub jojoba oil or shea butter on my hair or use qhemet biologics burdock root butter cream and then put a plastic cap on and put my heat therapy wrap on for about an hour. I do this once a week and simply spray with an oil/water mixture in between treatments.


So you recently had a baby, congrats mama! He looks adorable! Tell us about your hair during your pregnancy and afterward.

During my pregnancy, I’d been rocking a puff simply because I didn't have have the energy to spend the 2 hours necessary to do flat twists lol. As of today (10/21/11) I am now 1 week away from being natural for 2 years and I’ve given birth to a beautiful baby boy who is now 7 weeks old. I am happy to say that, though I didn’t get the benefit of the pregnancy hair growth spurt, I also haven’t experienced the hair shed either. About a week after giving birth I decided to revisit the whole head two strand twist style and am happy to say it looked sooo fetch! I rocked it for 3 weeks!!!!!! Now I am back to my flat twists for a few weeks – basically anything low maintenance works best for me at the moment.

What are your favorite products?
As I said above, I’ve been wearing a puff a lot lately. I don’t really use any products on it, just water to refresh. So I don’t really have a “favorite” product. I have tried so very many products over the years that I can tell you which ones I DON’T like quicker than I can tell you which ones I do lol. For instance, my hair HATES Carol’s Daughter and Miss Jessies – neither do anything beneficial for my hair, in fact I think they make it a bit worse. I used to like Kinky Curly Knot Today leave in but after a while my hair seemed to get used to it and the benefits stopped so I stopped using it. I do occasionally use Organic Root Stimulator's Loc and Twist Gel and this other pudding that they have to do my twists – I like the hold that both products provide and my twist outs are defined and moisturized and I can actually achieve 2nd day hair with them (but nothing longer than that). I also like Qhemet Biologics Burdock Root Butter Cream as my moisturizer. I still haven’t found that mixture of perfect products that always work for me, I just find that every couple of months I have to switch it up. I’ve also been relying heavily on the “Now” brand shea butter – I find that it emulsifies the best.



What is your regimen and what do you do with your hair at night?
Again, pregnancy laziness is brutal lol. I’m lucky if I wash my hair twice a month. Depending on how I’ve been wearing it and whether I’ve been putting products in it, I will shampoo or co-wash. Post pregnancy – my hair is usually in twists so I just wrap it up with a satin scarf and go to bed. In the morning I spritz it with an oil/water mix.

Do you have any advice for newly naturals?
Going natural is not for the faint at heart so be sure that its something you really want to do. Don’t compare your hair to anyone else’s – hair envy is the most discouraging thing about being natural so love YOUR hair for what it is and you will find joy and fall in love with it the way I did with mine. Also get to know YOUR hair, what it likes, what it doesn’t like, etc. and be careful who you let in your head – I made the grave mistake of trusting a “natural hair stylist’s” jjudgment over my own, despite knowing that my hair doesn’t like excessive heat. It resulted in major damage to my hair and a HUGE setback for Cleo’s (that's my afro's name) growth, I am still cutting off straight pieces that never curled back up from being straightened in March!!!! It’s OCTOBER!!! Also, there are a TON of natural hair resources out there so you are not alone – Curly Nikki is my go-to place for info.

What have you learned about yourself throughout the journey?
I have learned to see the beauty in myself that I never saw before. It was a very long and difficult journey filled with dips in my confidence, hair envy and doubt, but then I came out on the other side with such a feeling of fierceness, self awareness and love that it was well worth the journey. Today, I can truly say “I am not my hair” and really mean it. After I realized that, the door opened to so many possibilities, allowing me to become more creative and adventurous and funky with my hair and I’m loving every minute!!

Will this thing last forever eva?
Fa eva eva, fa eva eva lol!

Thank you again Monique for sharing your story! I wanted to put "I heard that" in so many sections of her interview, but I will just say one big "I heard that" right now!

I heart her hair!!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Introducing...Butter Scotch!

So, I've been gone for a minute and focusing my energy on two of my first loves...food and fashion. I've decided to create embark on a new venture that will allow me share my both of my loves with the world.

I formally introduce you to...Butter Scotch; the new place for all things awesome!

Butter Scotch is divided into two pieces, The Good Taste Shop and The Bake Shop.

The Good Taste Shop features sweet clothing and accessories available for purchase from my adventures in thrift and vintage shopping. Please click on the Good Taste Shop link to learn more information.


The Butter Scotch Bake Shop features a menu of my homemade sweet treats that are available for purchase. Please click on the Bake Shop link to learn more information.


I'm so very, very, very excited to bring This Moment to all of you! I appreciate all of your support in advance and know with you this will be a great success!

Let's Shake and Bake!

Friday, October 7, 2011

When all else fails, manipulate the data...

Ok, so I have been getting a little frustrated with the talk about President’s Obama/The Democratic plan to increase taxes FOR THE UPPER/HIGHEST earners in our county. A lot of the back lash is not coming from the people in the upper bracket, which is currently $379,150, but instead from the people, I assume are in the 1-5 lower brackets $0-$300,000.

My issue with this is…why? Why take this position? Why are those who are not getting taxed more under the new proposal so concerned with the increase? The increase, which in my opinion is EXTREMELY FAIR AND OVERDUE. Increase the taxes of the people who are making the most money in the country.

Please see the current tax brackets below.

Tax Brackets 2011      Single                      Married Filing Jointly     Head of Household10% Bracket                $0 – $8,500               $0 – $17,000                    $0 – $12,150
15% Bracket                $8,500 – $34,500       $17,000 – $69,000            $12,150 – $46,250
25% Bracket                $34,500 – $83,600     $69,000 – $139,350          $46,250 – $119,400
28% Bracket                $83,600 – $174,400   $139,350 – $212,300        $119,400 – $193,350
33% Bracket                $174,400 – $379,150 $212,300 – $379,150        $193,350 – $379,150
35% Bracket                $379,150+                 $379,150+                       $379,150+

As you see, once you make at least $379K your taxes are no longer increased. This means the person making $379K is taxed just as much as the person making $30 Million! Does this make since? Especially when taxes go up a whopping 25% for the people making $8,000 -$379K. How is it cool that if there is a $370,000 increase you are taxed 25% more. No ones saying nothing about that, however, there is extreme backlash when Democrats and our President suggest adding a new tax bracket only adding a 5% increase (although this is a $700,000 increase in wealth) to those who are making $1,000,000 and above.

How can one call this unfair, or even unconstitutional? It is unsound and makes no mathematical since. Here is the breakdown:
25%  tax increase for making $300,000 additional
5% tax increase for making $700,000 through infinity additional!

The new tax increases would help the middle class who you can see from the chart above SUFFERS the most under the tax brackets as they are currently structured. Taking 30% in taxes of  a family who makes $200,000 hurts SIGNIFICANTLY more than taking 40% from someone who makes $5,000,000.

Let's go further and take a look at the history of tax increases and decreases over the past 40 years:


As you can see from the chart above, who's taxes are going down and whose are going up? The lowest earners in the countries taxes have steadily increased from 1960. And who's have had the biggest drop...the highest earners! Back in the 60's these people were paying over 40-70% in taxes! And when did the big drop happen, during the Reganomics error oops, I mean era. Now do the math on that! You can see the drop right around 1982 when Reagan and his crew approved historic low tax cuts for the richest in the county! Come on son. A mere 5% increase under the Obama presidency is no where near catching our country up to where it had been with equal distribution of taxes from previous years.

How is it that one cannot see this? We are not taking about the actual amount of money you receive from each person, but the financial impact, percentages. Who decided that at the point you reached $379,000 you should no longer be impacted by tax increases? Is this a perk for making more money?  And those of us who make our way up the middle class ladder are stuck paying more and more and more taxes every year?

Let’s keep it real. Most of us will never make it over $379,000 per year. However, I do know people who are making over this amount of money and they are behind the tax increases! They believe it is only fair to redistribute the wealth. Taking an additional 5% from millionaires can benefit our county A LOT more than taking 5% from me! You can’t do nothing with that!

I cram to understand why the rich Republicans who hold their wallets so tight and have been allowed to go unscathed by taxes, big breaks for major companies, hiding their wealth under business expenses, have so many champions who will never know that wealth. These people need to fight for the middle class and lower classes who actually need and cannot afford the champions. I have not heard the richees campaigning for you. They are trying to screw you with medicare, social security, increased taxes, jobs, housing market, gas...I could go on.

People, please don’t be fooled by Headliners like “Obama wants to increase your taxes”. Or “Obama’s tax plan is unconstitutional”. Tell me where in the constitution does it mention giving a pass to every Millionaire for the next 500 years. We are smarter than that. Before we make assumptions on things, we need to stop being "glamoured" by fast talking car salesmen who want to portray the Democratic political party as big bad wolves targeting the poor helpless defenceless rich folks. As we can see from history, many Presidents before Barack Obama campaigned for themselves, its fine time we have a President who is finally campaigning for us.

Obama 2012, Stop Playing and Let's Go!

Children's Place

So I very rarely shop for my kid because we get a lot of hand-me-down clothes from my BFF. They are perfect for her and me because i don't have to think about shopping.

Well, its been a minute since we've been home to Detroit to pick up our next shipment and the temperature is dropping so I'm shopping for Lil' K.

For any other moms interested Children's Place is giving you 20% off though October 31 on all items online or in the store! Tell em I sent you.



Here is the printable coupon: 20% Off

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Damn Good Biscuits!

One of my passions is baking. Its one of the only "normal" events I can remember doing with my mom when I was little:-) I'm working on a lot of recipes, adding new ones to my Rolodex and hopefully beginning a new business venture in a couple of months (more info coming soon).

Anyhoo, today, I had a taste for biscuits. Not the biscuits in a can, but some guuuud biscuits. I found a recipe and it had to be sent from the Lawd himself. But ladies, beware...only make this recipe if you are trying to get him to fall in love, do the laundry, watch the kids, get a ring, you get my point. Please don't waste this recipe on someone stupid. Don't make these for someone you don't really care about. These biscuits will take your stock wayyyyy up! I promise!

I mean, some women are pretty, some smart, maybe even good in bed...but wake up in the morning roll some dough from scratch and make a man sweet bread...ha, ha, ha, you are worth your weight in gold!

I even got Lil' K involved. She will have it down early!


Here is a recipe I adapted from a cozy kitchen blog and its great.

Biscuits

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 sticks of very cold butter (or 6 ounces), cubed
1/2 cup cold and shaken buttermilk
1 large egg
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 egg, beaten with a tablespoon of milk or water (egg wash)

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C).

In a large bowl, mix together the all-purpose flour, baking powder and salt. Working quickly, add the cubed butter and break it up with your hands until all of the butter is broken into bits and resembles small peas.

In a measuring cup, whisk together the buttermilk and egg. Add the buttermilk mixture and maple syrup to the flour mixture. Mix until barely combined. Lightly dust your kitchen counter with flour and dump the dough onto it. Knead a few times (maybe 4 or 5) until the dough comes together. Press or gently roll the dough into a 1-inch thickness. Cut out biscuits using a 2-inch cutter (I used the rim of a glass) and place on lined baking sheet. Re-roll dough scraps to get a few more biscuits. Brush the tops of the biscuits with egg wash and bake in oven for 15-20 minutes, or until tall and golden brown.

Try it and tell me what you think!!! I want to commit this to memory. Every chica should have a good biscuit recipe in their holster!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Education: Is the system still segregated?



As Lil' K gets older, I start thinking more and more about her education and what that means for us as her parents. We both are very intelligent and raised on public schools. I lived right across the street from my elementary school growing up and would go on a limb saying I had some of the best education Detroit had to offer. I love the fact that kids can go to school in their neighborhoods and receive a quality education, especially considering I live in a county that pays THE highest taxes in my state.

I started researching preschools and elementary school and was not in love with any of our local options. I saw class sizes larger than the national average, testing scores only average and in some areas below. I look at the kids on the metros and kids going to charter schools and also see (at least from their foul behavior) they aren't getting much better educations than if they would have stayed in their communities.

It makes me wonder...though schools are "integrated" is their still segregation of the quality of the education received in Black neighborhoods as opposed to White neighborhoods? You hear the story of the Ohio woman who was actually jailed for trying to give her children a chance by utilizing a school whose education system was superior than the one offered in her community. Jailed! And it makes you wonder...why did we stop fight for equality of education?

Bill Gates, the richest man in America has taken up this fight. His kids don't have to worry about this because one his is rich, and another, sad to say, he is White. Why, even in the richest of Black neighborhoods, do we still allow the school systems to remain sub par.

An article featuring Bill Gates reported his anger after learning about the continued disparity in the education system: 

"he struggles to figure out why Blacks, particularly in inner cities, aren’t also mad as hell and ready to pound the pavement for change. “Why isn’t there outrage, absolute outrage over this issue? Why aren’t there protests every day? I don’t understand,” he says. “Why wouldn’t this activate people the way that it did during the Civil Rights Movement?”

Black people...why isn't there? Our child is only 2 however, we have already begun the research. I plan to visit the schools in our neighborhood and sit in on classes. I plan to talk to the principles. I would like to be able to utilize my communities services and not have to have my child bused out of our neighborhood to receive a education. Some of my personal friends are paying more than $10,000 per year for Elementary School! This is on top of the taxes we pay for these services.

Black people...why aren't we becoming involved in our communities and more importantly our education systems. For people who utilize public schools for their children, are you happy with the quality of the services provided by the neighborhood school? In comparison to other schools, do you feel the level of service is adequate? If not, what have you done or what can be done? Is the answer to just pay for private school or wait for Superman with a lottery ticket?

Why aren't we protesting? Why aren't we fighting for the right to have our children equally educated as the children in White(r) neighborhoods? In this day in age, it isn't necessarily about income because Prince George County is one of the richest counties in America. However, it has one of the highest dropout rates.

We have to stop this, and its not too late. If your children are in school...do you know the teacher? The teacher's qualifications? What rights do parents have to make changes in their schools?

This will be a reoccurring topic for me and I will post information as I discover it. I hope, since we are starting 2 years before Lil' K enters the school system, we can make a change.

Let's Go!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

In My Ears: Our First Time

This DMV dude changes the Bruno Mars song PERFECTLY. I wouldn't change a thing. I've listened to this about 400 times today and can't stay. I want to remember this moment in time.


Thank you for sharing your gift...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Is Weave "Natural"?

So, the great debate...Can you wear weave most of the time (80-90%) and still call yourself a Natural?

Dun, dun, dunnnnnnnn

I don't comment much on weave because I'm at a "to each its own" place in my life. I've worn weaves, braids, etc and I get it. But what I don't get is the Weavers saying they are Naturals. To me, that is an oxymoron. Its like saying I'm against drinking, but I have wine with dinner.

Recently, one of my favorite natural chicks, Curly Nikki, completed a few celebrity interviews. These "Natural" hair celebrities say they wear weave all the time, for work, for convenience etc but their hair is natural underneath. These interviews can be found by clicking this link. This first were with Mo and Kita, Terrell Owens home girls and the other was with Angela Simmons (from Run's House). These women all talk about how they have flowing natural hair going down their back, but to the world and for "work" they choose to keep it weaved all the time.




I ask the question...whats the f'in point???? If you live your life publically as a weaved girl and only you only see your natural hair between track installs, why call yourself a natural? Just not getting a perm doesn't make you natural. Maybe they would be considered in the transitioning stage. Transisition because they haven't come to grips with their natural hair. I don't get how you say "oh, I have long big beautiful hair, however, its not good enough to show to the world"? Aren't you buying in and perpetuating the same image of beautiful (silky, long, straight hair that never poofs up and nor has any emotion) that we, "The Naturals" (yes I say this like we are a crew) are all about?

Kita and Mo have even gone as far to speaking to young girls and have a new company about "Defining their pretty" which includes the sales of the hair they wear to the masses. I get it, they feel prettier with somebody elses hair that behaves better than their own; however, is this the message we want to promote? That our young girls have to hid their naps, or kinks, or poofs to be accepted? How are they showing they feel pretty just being themselves if they never take the weave away and just get naked?

Again, I'm not judging the weaves as a whole. I think they are a great way to help your hair grow and protect your hair, and give your natural tresses a break. But if you spend 90% or more of your life in somebody elses hair, what are you saying about your own? Angela Simmons even goes as far to say she goes to the hairdresser 2-3 times a week to get her weave tightened up. Why not give that same tender loving care to your own hair?

These women for the most part, never wear their hair out. They say if they do, they have to add additional tracks here and there for fullness, or whatever. Some of them have never even tried to manipulate their hair in its natural state without pressing, perming, etc. So I ask, why not give it a chance? Why are we so down on what we have? What makes straighter hair, thinner hair better? Aren't we trying to get past that by categorizing ourselves as "Natural"?

I guess every one's reason for going "Natural" is different. Mine reason was to show my daughter that her hair is good no matter what length or what texture it is. I want to teach young girls that you don't have to change yourself or assimilate into society. Society can accept you as you are as long as you accept who you are.

For the grown women out there, I'm in no way taking anything from you. I know a lot of women currently transitioning with braids and weaves and its great. But to make a lifestyle of doing only that seems a little fraudulent IF you are too claiming to be "Natural". If you are a weave girl, just be proud of that. If you are a lace front, be proud of that. But double dipping as a lifestyle...ehhhh, I'm not feeling that.
Don't say your are a weave girl, don't say you are a "natural" girl, just say...It's Complicated!

My BFF I've Never Met: Marsha Ambroisious


I know, you are tired of hearing about her from me...but I can't help it. I heart this chick. Everytime I hear something or read something about her, it is like, exactly how I would respond. Or what I would do. Or what I would say. I recently fell upon her cute blog Marsha Ambrosius Honestly and was too delighted to know she is also a blogger. Of course being a mega star she isn't able to update it that often, but I was able to go through and read some of her musings and love her voice.

I feel like, if she and I met in real life, we would have so much to talk about. Music, life, weight, hair, men...you name it!

Anyhoo, I'm sure, one day, if the stars align she and I will meet again (remember, we've met before). One day me, her and Amber Rose are all going out for sushi and shit talking. It is like my dream come true.

Here's to hoop dreams!

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Art of Whoopin'


When I was little, my mom would threaten me with a whoopin' for like...months, before the actual event happened. She would say, "If you do that again, I'm whoopin' you!" or "Let me find out you aren't doing well in school. Whoopin'!"

I don't remember getting very many whoopin's, however, the ones I got, I always felt were displaced. I felt like I got whoopin's for doing stuff that wasn't really "that" bad. Like my mom was just having a bad f'in day and decided to whoop me! Or slap me! Yes, I will never forget that great face slap of 89'. And the slap of 92'. Something about a slap that's damn right disrespectful...

I digress.

Being a mother, this morning, I had a Eureka about The Art of Whoopin'. Lil' K is a good child. I have NEVER (shockingly) whooped her. Her dad has popped her, her Mema has popped her, I've maybe tapped her hand once if anything, but I have never just all out spanked her behind. I try to talk to her and she's a really rational kid; so this typically works. And when things really get bad (which is rare) we do a time out.

Now, its not that I'm against a whoopin'. Because I think they are great and effective when done right. But I just have not felt the need to hand it out yet. The thing about the whoopin' is if you do it too much, it becomes ineffective and its power is taken away. I'm saving it.

But today, I felt my pressure boil and actually felt like...dare I say, giving her a whoopin'. She was being a Lil' B this morning. Super whiny, and rude, and blown because she had to get up and go to school. And I'm like, really, you are blown! After all I do for you. After bathing you, and changing you, and braiding your hair fabulously, and feeding you and allowing you to rip my belly open, you are going to have a tantrum today about your freakin' tag in your shirt. Really! That's how you feel about me! You little ungrateful....@#$@#$#!

Um, I didn't say any of those things. But I thought them. And then I had to laugh to myself and say...Oh. I get it. In her mind, 20 years later she would've thought I whooped her for her tag being a bother. In my mind I would've whooped her for being disrespectful and not complying with our morning routine, and whining, and how on school days she stays in the bed all morning but on the weekends she is at the side of my bed poking me in the eye at 6am and for...my belly (yes dammit that is a whoopable offense...I think).

I stopped and laughed at all the times I got slapped or whooped and realized that it was not about what I did that day. It was an accumulation of little kid bullshit. It was all the times combined that I had whined, and disobeyed, and back talked, and "but mommy'd" and been a jerk and the day that slap happened was the straw. I'm sure it really hurt my mom more than it hurt me (I always thought that was a load of crap). But really, now being a mom I get it. I try to keep the peace, use my words instead of my hands; but there are times when your tolerance is done son. When you think about all the f'in babies you have to deal with when you get to work. How your child has no concept of what you go through or what you feel, and they want to try you. Those times are when you need to step back. Take a 5. Walk away. Because even if in the moment you whop them, you are still going to feel bad about allowing a child to push you over the edge.

In my case, today, Lil' K did not get whooped. Because I'm just not there yet. But her punishment was not watching her DVD on the way to school. And she will be going to be at 7:30 tonight instead of 8 since she's so f'in tired in the morning.  My reward for not whoopin' will be...a whoopie pie from the Lobster Truck when it makes its way to my area this week.

And all will be right with the world.

Can grown women have playdates?

(source)
I've been in the DMV now for 9 years. Every year I make a big escape plan all to never go through with it. I came here in 2002 and said I've give it 3 years. In 2005 I started looking for a new job. In 2006 I got a new job and said I'd give it a year. In 2007 I had a new job back in Michigan, but met my soon to be DH, and said I'd give love a try. 2008 I got preggo and now...2011...still here.

I guess I should start making this place home.  And I'm dying to increase my circle with some new chicas. Chicks I have things in common with, who maybe have children the same age as me so we can have cocktails during play dates...you know. Like grown women playdates and we happen to bring our kids with us.

I've met some awesome people since living here, but I always imagined my circle being bigger. Having grand parties. Taking big couple trips.

Well recently, I met this lady at the grocery store. We were both looking at new products in the natural hair section and got to talking. She has a son near Lil' K's age and was expecting. We talked about hair, kids, products, etc. It was such a nice and refreshing conversation, that, afterwards...I longed for more. I know...it sounds romantic right and a teeny bit gay. But I didn't want to book her...well not in that way. I wanted to meet her for coffee or sandwiches at Panera Bread and talk about life with someone seemingly where I am in life. I wanted to meet her husband and wandered was he just as tall as she was. Did they play pick up basketball games? Where is she from? How long has she been in this area? Does she like her son all the time? Does she want to trade babysitting? Do they want to come over and hang?

Its crazy right? Its not very often I meet people I'm interested in. I mention to her I had a blog and was going to give her the address because some of the stuff we discussed I have talked to death on here. I also wanted to get her email address to just keep in touch with a seemingly cool mom.

I was hesitant because...I got booked in a grocery store some years back. A lady who I thought was nice chatted me up, told me about her husband, so I didn't think she was gay. Invited me to a party. And when I called her later to discuss the details of "said party" she tried to turn me into a swinger with her and her dude. I was scarred because I thought she was mad cool and I don't meet cool chicks that often. After that, I don't meet random ladies anymore. You have to be a friend of a friend or something. But now, having a child...I wonder...is it time? Should I take a chance on branching out?

Ladies...how do you go about meeting new friends? Or do you even try? I'm not a "mommy and me" or "mocha moms" type chick (tried it and failed horribly) but how do you get in new circles?

Monday, September 5, 2011

Pigtails and Ponys

So, guess what! I can finally get my hair in ponytails! Not one big one yet, but I can do pigtails!!! I've been wanting a pony tail for sooooo long!

This weekend DH gave me a whole day to do me and he kept the kid! Whew, that was awesome...and rare so I took my time getting ready. Here is my latest photo shoot on my way to run errands.




This is also after my 7lb weight loss!

And of course no photo shoot would be right if Lil' K doesn't jump in the pix too!


That cheese she is working in the pix cracks me up every time! I love it!

Vest - Macy's
Top - Ross
Belt - Forever 21
Boots - Random store on South St. in Philly
Legging - Forever 21
Necklace - H&M
Bracelet - Vintage (gift from my mom)

The Woods

DH went to a wedding in the park the other day...and here is my look.






It was his first time doing the outdoor photos for me and he got a little blown with how many I wanted so I did my accessory shots in the car. I wonder, ladies who do OOTD posts, who is taking your pix for you? It can't be your dudes, can it?

Dress - I've had this for almost for ever and bought it about 8 years ago when I first lost a lot of weight. I can finally fit it again!
Shoes - Nine West
Purse - Vintage (from my favorite Aunt who recently passed and gifted to me by her daughter)
Accessories - Rue 21

I think none of the things I had on this day were purchased prior to like 2004/5! Amazing how good stuff doesn't go bad.

Perm Envy

Lately...I've been feeling quite envious of chicas I see with perms! What is that about? I don't know, maybe the grass is always greener syndrome, who knows. 

Anyhoo, its not the long permed hair, its the short, tight hair style I used to wear. Shaved in the back, short on the sides, long in the front. I'm sure I'm going to get over it, especially since I've committed myself to at least 2 years of growing my hair out in its natural state.

I've tried to straighten my hair since going natural on more than one occasion and the results were very tragic...


Its just not a good look on me yet. I look like an old lady. It poofs up almost instantly and I can't do anything with it.

I know this too will pass, but I wonder, do any other natural chicks sometimes long to go back? Hear the creamy crack calling them? Or is it just me?

What is love?

Hmmm...

So what is love? I found this definition:

"Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body... For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away..." (source).

I love this definition. It is real talk done son. Love is what you have, after you've "won" that person over. Love is not pretty, Love doesn't wear make up, Love wears a bonnet at night. Love may not take you to dinner or have stimulating conversation, and Love may, hurt you. Let me rephrase...Love will hurt you. You want to know why... because Love is hard. Love is work. Love should brought your ass home last night (ok, you know I had to do it).

Sometimes, I get caught up in the Love of it all. I get caught up missing those feelings of being "in love". The beautiful thing about marriage (and cherish this because its hard for me to find these moments) is that it forces you to fall in and out of love over and over and over again. It forces you to stay with the person after all that gushy stuff is gone; the you hang ups, no you hang ups. Through the hard times, Love is the thread, the force that keeps you together until you find something to be in love with again.

Since I've been married, me and my DH have divorced several times (in my head). And then we fall in love all over again. We are just entering our 3rd year and people say, if you get to 3 years you're good. And then other people say, you're still not safe, because you get the 7 year itch. And most recently I heard the crazy "its really the 10-13 year mark that makes or breaks you". HA! All buffoonery if you ask. From the day, the minute, the second after they pronounce you man and wife, shit gets real. Real real! And anyone who tells you it will all be a crystal staircase and cherries on top, is full of crap. Tell em Rae told you!

The bottom line is, Love is what will keep you together. Love is what sustains. Just remember, when you are having a fat week (or summer in some cases), and your natural hair journey has taken a turn for the worst, Love is what you need. Love is what you want.

So what am I saying...I'm just saying. Fluff is good. Fluff makes for nice stories and makes a good pillow. But who cares about the pillows, if you don't have a good bed.

In addition to showing what my face looks like during the Love thinking process, I wanted to show off my twist out! (more to come on these pix in the next blog post, lol).

HCG 3rd Cycle Update: 5 Days In

I started the HCG diet (modified of course...see previous links from cycles 1 and 2) on Monday and I'm down 7 lbs! 7lbs in 5 days! Its omazing! I'm back down to my weight (almost) I was since the last cycle.

I don't know what it is about the diet, I don't even think its the spray because DH did it without the spray and still lost. But you really don't put on that much weight that you lost and when you start again, you lose right away, quick! Of course, by next week, my weight lost won't be a dramatic and more gradual (the bigger you are the faster you lose) but I hope to continue.

I plan to look like this by my birthday, Novemeber 3!

#hoopdreams
I know, I know, buffy may be far fetched, but I'm on my way! Add to that, I've been working out EVERYDAY again, at least 30 minutes of some intense cardio and I'm sure I'm going to tighten it up fast! I want to be in a bikini when me and the DH go to Mexico!

Leeeeegooo!