Before I took the leap to natural hair, sometime in June/July of 2010, I saw this young lady on facebook. Now, she is not just some regular random lady, she is f'ing amazing! She is from my hometown Detroit and we went to high school together. We both used to rock the old Halle Berry hair style back in the day and I always loved her spirit. She was always so sweet, but you knew she didn't take no stuff...and today, she took that amazing spirit and is now a lawyer in California! I love to brag on my Detroit, Cass Tech (fired up) folks. Detroit gets a bad wrap, but I know so many successful men and women who are born and breed in the D!
I saw Monique and her hair on facebook and it was like, wow! So beautiful. She has what I call good hair! Thick, full, and healthy! Mo is so creative with her styles. She became one of my first natural hair crushes! Its my pleasure to bring to you her interview. I'm sure we can all learn a lot from this fierce Chica!
How long have you been natural?
I have been natural since October 29, 2009; so almost 2 years now.
Did you transition or just big chop?
I transitioned for all of 2 weeks. I had zillions for about 3 months before those transitional 2 weeks. After removing the zillions I decided that I wouldn’t perm my hair anymore and started transitioning. After another 2 weeks of dealing with 2 different textures, I couldn’t take it anymore and took the scissors to my head one
day after work.
Why did you go natural?
I live in Southern California... Orange County to be exact. Needless to say resources for black hair care are few and far between. It was very difficult for me to find a stylist to maintain my permed hair. And even when I finally did you know nobody does hair like they do it in the D or even the Chi for that matter (which is where I was living before I came here). So, though my hair was growing, it was thin, limp and just plain not fly lol. So I decided to get zillions to tide me over till I finished studying for and taking the Cali bar exam. After I finished that, I took the zillions down and saw this mass of multi-textured hair atop my head and I said to myself, why not try to rock your natural texture? So I went for it.
It also helped that one of my best friends has been natural for about 8 years now and has the absolute flyest curls on the planet. I really wanted to see what my hair would do in its natural state.
Were you attached when you made the decision? If so, did your mate have an opinion?
I was engaged at the time (now married) to a wonderful, understanding and open-minded man! My husband is white, not that it matters much, but I think that made him more open to embracing all the different sides of me. He didn’t really have a preference of which hair style I rocked as long as I was happy so there was no bias there towards relaxed or natural, he just wanted me happy. So he was very encouraging. And then once I went natural – oh Lord!!! He quickly developed an opinion – which was and is still DO NOT EVER PERM YOUR HAIR AGAIN lol! He LOVES my natural hair, which is so funny cause let me be perfectly honest in saying that I don’t have that cute, curly ringlet natural hair – I’ve got that break yo comb, straight up kinky with a twist natural hair lol. And he loves every bit of it! Couldn’t ask for a better mate!
What is your favorite style so far?
Given the texture of my hair I’ve come to the determination that curl definition is not something that is meant for me lol. So I’m partial to twists. But my hair is also still fine and thin so individual 2 strand twists still don’t quite look right on me at the moment – maybe with a little more length they will look better. So my go to style is often flat twists going up the back and the sides with single twists in the front. I love this style:
1) because it lasts me about a week or two and
2) it’sa great protective style.
I can untwist the front to make it a little funky or leave it in twists and be on my way. Very low maintenance. The only problem with it is that my hair is very dry so when it is up in flat twits it gets even more dry because
I’m not able to get in their and really moisturize. But now, I have figured out how to keep my hair moisturized during while in twists – I drench my head while in the shower (still twisted), then rub jojoba oil or shea butter on my hair or use qhemet biologics burdock root butter cream and then put a plastic cap on and put my heat therapy wrap on for about an hour. I do this once a week and simply spray with an oil/water mixture in between treatments.
So you recently had a baby, congrats mama! He looks adorable! Tell us about your hair during your pregnancy and afterward.
During my pregnancy, I’d been rocking a puff simply because I didn't have have the energy to spend the 2 hours necessary to do flat twists lol. As of today (10/21/11) I am now 1 week away from being natural for 2 years and I’ve given birth to a beautiful baby boy who is now 7 weeks old. I am happy to say that, though I didn’t get the benefit of the pregnancy hair growth spurt, I also haven’t experienced the hair shed either. About a week after giving birth I decided to revisit the whole head two strand twist style and am happy to say it looked sooo fetch! I rocked it for 3 weeks!!!!!! Now I am back to my flat twists for a few weeks – basically anything low maintenance works best for me at the moment.
What are your favorite products?
As I said above, I’ve been wearing a puff a lot lately. I don’t really use any products on it, just water to refresh. So I don’t really have a “favorite” product. I have tried so very many products over the years that I can tell you which ones I DON’T like quicker than I can tell you which ones I do lol. For instance, my hair HATES Carol’s Daughter and Miss Jessies – neither do anything beneficial for my hair, in fact I think they make it a bit worse. I used to like Kinky Curly Knot Today leave in but after a while my hair seemed to get used to it and the benefits stopped so I stopped using it. I do occasionally use Organic Root Stimulator's Loc and Twist Gel and this other pudding that they have to do my twists – I like the hold that both products provide and my twist outs are defined and moisturized and I can actually achieve 2nd day hair with them (but nothing longer than that). I also like Qhemet Biologics Burdock Root Butter Cream as my moisturizer. I still haven’t found that mixture of perfect products that always work for me, I just find that every couple of months I have to switch it up. I’ve also been relying heavily on the “Now” brand shea butter – I find that it emulsifies the best.
Again, pregnancy laziness is brutal lol. I’m lucky if I wash my hair twice a month. Depending on how I’ve been wearing it and whether I’ve been putting products in it, I will shampoo or co-wash. Post pregnancy – my hair is usually in twists so I just wrap it up with a satin scarf and go to bed. In the morning I spritz it with an oil/water mix.
Do you have any advice for newly naturals?
Going natural is not for the faint at heart so be sure that its something you really want to do. Don’t compare your hair to anyone else’s – hair envy is the most discouraging thing about being natural so love YOUR hair for what it is and you will find joy and fall in love with it the way I did with mine. Also get to know YOUR hair, what it likes, what it doesn’t like, etc. and be careful who you let in your head – I made the grave mistake of trusting a “natural hair stylist’s” jjudgment over my own, despite knowing that my hair doesn’t like excessive heat. It resulted in major damage to my hair and a HUGE setback for Cleo’s (that's my afro's name) growth, I am still cutting off straight pieces that never curled back up from being straightened in March!!!! It’s OCTOBER!!! Also, there are a TON of natural hair resources out there so you are not alone – Curly Nikki is my go-to place for info.
What have you learned about yourself throughout the journey?
I have learned to see the beauty in myself that I never saw before. It was a very long and difficult journey filled with dips in my confidence, hair envy and doubt, but then I came out on the other side with such a feeling of fierceness, self awareness and love that it was well worth the journey. Today, I can truly say “I am not my hair” and really mean it. After I realized that, the door opened to so many possibilities, allowing me to become more creative and adventurous and funky with my hair and I’m loving every minute!!
Will this thing last forever eva?
Fa eva eva, fa eva eva lol!
Thank you again Monique for sharing your story! I wanted to put "I heard that" in so many sections of her interview, but I will just say one big "I heard that" right now!
I heart her hair!!!
