My Natural Soro: Monique

Before I took the leap to natural hair, sometime in June/July of 2010, I saw this young lady on facebook. Now, she is not just some regular random lady, she is f'ing amazing! She is from my hometown Detroit and we went to high school together. We both used to rock the old Halle Berry hair style back in the day  and I always loved her spirit. She was always so sweet, but you knew she didn't take no stuff...and today, she took that amazing spirit and is now a lawyer in California! I love to brag on my Detroit, Cass Tech (fired up) folks. Detroit gets a bad wrap, but I know so many successful men and women who are born and breed in the D!

I saw Monique and her hair on facebook and it was like, wow! So beautiful. She has what I call good hair! Thick, full, and healthy! Mo is so creative with her styles. She became one of my first natural hair crushes! Its my pleasure to bring to you her interview. I'm sure we can all learn a lot from this fierce Chica!

How long have you been natural?
I have been natural since October 29, 2009; so almost 2 years now.

Did you transition or just big chop?
I transitioned for all of 2 weeks. I had zillions for about 3 months before those transitional 2 weeks. After removing the zillions I decided that I wouldn’t perm my hair anymore and started transitioning. After another 2 weeks of dealing with 2 different textures, I couldn’t take it anymore and took the scissors to my head one
day after work.

Why did you go natural?
I live in Southern California... Orange County to be exact. Needless to say resources for black hair care are few and far between. It was very difficult for me to find a stylist to maintain my permed hair. And even when I finally did you know nobody does hair like they do it in the D  or even the Chi for that matter (which is where I was living before I came here). So, though my hair was growing, it was thin, limp and just plain not fly lol. So I decided to get zillions to tide me over till I finished studying for and taking the Cali bar exam. After I finished that, I took the zillions down and saw this mass of multi-textured hair atop my head and I said to myself, why not try to rock your natural texture? So I went for it.

It also helped that one of my best friends has been natural for about 8 years now and has the absolute flyest curls on the planet. I really wanted to see what my hair would do in its natural state.

Were you attached when you made the decision? If so, did your mate have an opinion?
I was engaged at the time (now married) to a wonderful, understanding and open-minded man! My husband is white, not that it matters much, but I think that made him more open to embracing all the different sides of me. He didn’t really have a preference of which hair style I rocked as long as I was happy so there was no bias there towards relaxed or natural, he just wanted me happy. So he was very encouraging. And then once I went natural – oh Lord!!! He quickly developed an opinion – which was and is still DO NOT EVER PERM YOUR HAIR AGAIN lol! He LOVES my natural hair, which is so funny cause let me be perfectly honest in saying that I don’t have that cute, curly ringlet natural hair – I’ve got that break yo comb, straight up kinky with a twist natural hair lol. And he loves every bit of it! Couldn’t ask for a better mate!

What is your favorite style so far?
Given the texture of my hair I’ve come to the determination that curl definition is not something that is meant for me lol. So I’m partial to twists. But my hair is also still fine and thin so individual 2 strand twists still don’t quite look right on me at the moment – maybe with a little more length they will look better. So my go to style is often flat twists going up the back and the sides with single twists in the front.  I love this style:
 1) because it lasts me about a week or two and
 2) it’sa great protective style.

I can untwist the front to make it a little funky or leave it in twists and be on my way. Very low maintenance. The only problem with it is that my hair is very dry so when it is up in flat twits it gets even more dry because
I’m not able to get in their and really moisturize. But now, I have figured out how to keep my hair moisturized during while in twists – I drench my head while in the shower (still twisted), then rub jojoba oil or shea butter on my hair or use qhemet biologics burdock root butter cream and then put a plastic cap on and put my heat therapy wrap on for about an hour. I do this once a week and simply spray with an oil/water mixture in between treatments.


So you recently had a baby, congrats mama! He looks adorable! Tell us about your hair during your pregnancy and afterward.

During my pregnancy, I’d been rocking a puff simply because I didn't have have the energy to spend the 2 hours necessary to do flat twists lol. As of today (10/21/11) I am now 1 week away from being natural for 2 years and I’ve given birth to a beautiful baby boy who is now 7 weeks old. I am happy to say that, though I didn’t get the benefit of the pregnancy hair growth spurt, I also haven’t experienced the hair shed either. About a week after giving birth I decided to revisit the whole head two strand twist style and am happy to say it looked sooo fetch! I rocked it for 3 weeks!!!!!! Now I am back to my flat twists for a few weeks – basically anything low maintenance works best for me at the moment.

What are your favorite products?
As I said above, I’ve been wearing a puff a lot lately. I don’t really use any products on it, just water to refresh. So I don’t really have a “favorite” product. I have tried so very many products over the years that I can tell you which ones I DON’T like quicker than I can tell you which ones I do lol. For instance, my hair HATES Carol’s Daughter and Miss Jessies – neither do anything beneficial for my hair, in fact I think they make it a bit worse. I used to like Kinky Curly Knot Today leave in but after a while my hair seemed to get used to it and the benefits stopped so I stopped using it. I do occasionally use Organic Root Stimulator's Loc and Twist Gel and this other pudding that they have to do my twists – I like the hold that both products provide and my twist outs are defined and moisturized and I can actually achieve 2nd day hair with them (but nothing longer than that). I also like Qhemet Biologics Burdock Root Butter Cream as my moisturizer. I still haven’t found that mixture of perfect products that always work for me, I just find that every couple of months I have to switch it up. I’ve also been relying heavily on the “Now” brand shea butter – I find that it emulsifies the best.

What is your regimen and what do you do with your hair at night?
Again, pregnancy laziness is brutal lol. I’m lucky if I wash my hair twice a month. Depending on how I’ve been wearing it and whether I’ve been putting products in it, I will shampoo or co-wash. Post pregnancy – my hair is usually in twists so I just wrap it up with a satin scarf and go to bed. In the morning I spritz it with an oil/water mix.

Do you have any advice for newly naturals?
Going natural is not for the faint at heart so be sure that its something you really want to do. Don’t compare your hair to anyone else’s – hair envy is the most discouraging thing about being natural so love YOUR hair for what it is and you will find joy and fall in love with it the way I did with mine. Also get to know YOUR hair, what it likes, what it doesn’t like, etc. and be careful who you let in your head – I made the grave mistake of trusting a “natural hair stylist’s” jjudgment over my own, despite knowing that my hair doesn’t like excessive heat. It resulted in major damage to my hair and a HUGE setback for Cleo’s (that's my afro's name) growth, I am still cutting off straight pieces that never curled back up from being straightened in March!!!! It’s OCTOBER!!! Also, there are a TON of natural hair resources out there so you are not alone – Curly Nikki is my go-to place for info.

What have you learned about yourself throughout the journey?
I have learned to see the beauty in myself that I never saw before. It was a very long and difficult journey filled with dips in my confidence, hair envy and doubt, but then I came out on the other side with such a feeling of fierceness, self awareness and love that it was well worth the journey. Today, I can truly say “I am not my hair” and really mean it. After I realized that, the door opened to so many possibilities, allowing me to become more creative and adventurous and funky with my hair and I’m loving every minute!!

Will this thing last forever eva?
Fa eva eva, fa eva eva lol!

Thank you again Monique for sharing your story! I wanted to put "I heard that" in so many sections of her interview, but I will just say one big "I heard that" right now!

I heart her hair!!!

My Natural Soro: Tyee

So, I talk about my "Natural Soros" as women who are connected to me through our hair journey, but this lady is connected to me through so much more. This lady is my sister, my best friend. I used to want to be her when I was growing up and practically was her (through the use of her I.D) until I turned of age, lol. I love her so much and am sooooo proud of her journey and her daughter, my niece's journey. You guys have seen her featured in a couple of my post also. Here is her natural hair story...enjoy!

How long have you been natural?
I started my journey September 2010

Did you transition or go straight bc?
I transitioned.

Why did you go natural?
I was with my family for my niece 2nd birthday in Maryland. My sister was talking how she was starting the journey. She suggested we start with her (that sister is me:-) We talked about perms and chemicals that we have used the majority of our lives and how going natural wasn't easy, but so rewarding. I never second guessed it because I knew I wanted to change my look.  This came at the perfect time of my life!

Were you attached when you made the decision? If so, did your mate have an opinion?
No.

What is your favorite style so far?
I do the two strand twist and roll with curl rods. I let this air dry, undo the twists and fluff it out.

What are your favorite products?
Creme of nature detangling shampoo, suave naturals conditioner are what I'm using for my wash and condition routine. I have a really dry scalp so I use 1/2 cup of apple cider vinegar and 1/2 cup of water after I shampoo.  I leave this on for a couple of minutes, then rinse and condition.  I also use Kinky Curly Knot Today leave in conditioner and Ultra Sheen/Ultra Care Serum (coconut, avocado and castor oil), plus shea butter for moisture and sealing.

What is your regimen and what do you do with your hair at night?
I oil my hair every night and sleep on a satin pillow case. I tried to use a satin wrap, but I get hot at night and this would make my hair very frizzy in the morning.

Do you have any advice for newly naturals?
Don't get frustrated! The journey can be difficult. Check out youtube because they have SOOOO many videos and tutorials on styles. Don't give up!  My sister helped me a lot with finding suitable products, but you will need to try different products because what works for some, doesn't work for all.  Its all trial and error, but so rewarding! You learn so much about your hair. Don't be scared or think you're not attractive. There is nothing sexier than a woman who goes natural (and fells confident and secure about herself). Have fun with it!


What have you learned about yourself throughout the journey?
I learned that I have natural beauty! I have never felt more sexy. My natural look is so me. I feel free. When I was perming my hair, it would take me so long to get ready and leave the house.  I had to flat iron and style my hair. Now, I wake up, run oil through my hair, fluff it, and GO! I love my hair! I can't keep my hands out of it.  It has been so empowering, and I realized how beautiful my hair is without the perm. The natural waves and curls are amazing, and now my hair is so healthy and thick. I thank my beautiful sister Rae for bringing this journey to my life. I always used to see women with natural styles and thought, that would never look right on my head. I think I was afraid to change. This is my pure essence, the real me!

Will this thing last forever eva?
This is forever me! I will never go back! I have found what I've been looking for in myself.

I'm soooooo incredibly proud of my sister for letting me interview her and for going through this journey with me! Its so much better when you have a friend, or sister to go through everything with! Life, hair, whatever, life is better when your sister is holding your hand:-)

My Natural Soro: Toni

When I was maybe about 15, I met this fabulous chick, Toni, over my best friend's sister house. They were like bff's and me and my bestie used to pretend we were them and secretly envied them. Gina and Toni were like 22, super fun, beautiful, so confident, and living the life! Through the joys of facebook, some 15 years later, me and Toni meet again. She is still just as fabulous and beautiful as the last time I saw her! And...drum roll... she is a Natural Soro like me!

 
I HEART her...and her hair. Here is her natural hair story.

How long have you been natural?

I have been officially "natural since December 2009. 

(Toni pre-natural)

Why and how did you go natural?
I have always worn my hair short and before I went "natural" I was wearing texturizers. One day I decided I wasn't going to "texturize" anymore. In my case, it wasn't texturizer, but perm I combed thru my hair to loosen my natural curl. I finally cut it down and the rest I guess is kinda history. I think I was tired of trying to keep my hair a certain way; always "neat" and "pretty". Plus all my friends are natural... and I was the last one (two have dreads and one was just natural).

 (Toni and the girls)

Were you attached when you made the decision? If so, did your mate have an opinion?
I have never been a person who cared what anyone said about me or their opinions (negative or otherwise), so my transition was a personal choice unaffected by outside noise. I don't remember being with anyone specific at the time, but because I embrace who I am, everyone around me just kind of embraced my hair. Its funny because I work in a hospital and my transition was seen as "cool" or something and sooo many people have followed suit and went natural because of me I guess. LOL. I'm a trend-setter of sorts...


Rae Pembroke: What is your favorite styles so far? Do you have a regimen?
I love my hair in blow dried twist outs. I don't keep up with these natural hair blogs and whatnots. I wash and condition my hair once a week ( I have to because my dandruff is a beast if I don't!!) I have to blowdry my hair or it shrinks up into the tightest nest of hair. I would have spend two days combing out. So anyway, after the blowdry I apply an oil ( there a line of products called Curly or Curlz at Target and they have an oil that smells really wonderful!!) I put a bit of that on a blowdry a little more to disperse the oil. I then sit with my Carol's Daughter "Some of Margarite's Magic" and grab little sections of hair. I put a bit on my finger and run it along the piece of hair and do a two-strand twist allover my head. If I don't have anywhere to go I leave it twisted and I will wear a scarf or hat because my hair is at a kind of awkward length where its not really cute twisted and sticking out all over my head.

I do twist my hair up every night until it's time to wash it. I don't always apply product to it for the subsequent twisting. I may have to use a little on the 3rd twisting. I think my hair looks best after the second twisting.

(Toni's first time braiding her own hair...and it looks great!)

I don't do a lot of styles because I am still in the awkward length stage and I don't care for a lot of the natural "styles" but the frohawk was my most creative. With the weather so hot and sticky, it works even better because it gets your hair up and out of the way. I am a jogger, so I can sweat and not have my hair and scalp feel/smell sour. Its a great hairdo for that!

(so fucking fierce!)

What are your favorite products?

Some of my favorite products are the Carol's Daughter Margarite's Magic, Healthy Hair Butter and the Hair Milk! I thought the Milk was some crap until I actually tried it. It moisturizes and ads oils and sheen to your hair and actually defines your curls. I started using that one late in the game, but I love it. I apply it after I take my twists down to kinda make my curls snap into shape, so to speak. There is also a product I found at the drug store whose name I cannot recall. It is a locking wax that I sometimes use for my twists as well. It smells awesome and leaves my hair soft. I use this one sparingly now, but it was awesome when my hair was much shorter.

Do you have any advice for newly naturals?
I don't know if I have any advice for newly natural girls except this: Your hair does not define you. It does not determine your beauty or worth. Hair is there to accentuate what is already there. I have always been anti-weave (and lately eyelashes) because women think that if they have a fierce weave then that is all they need. In actuality, you require so much more. Going natural is a matter of saying you like who you are, as you are and everyone else be damned. That is not to say you still don't have to put forth an effort to look good, but you are making a conscious effort to do it. I'm not saying natural hair is the only way to go. I love perms and I miss them dearly sometimes. I'm simply saying, when you do go natural, there will always be people who don't like it, don't care for it, who think you look better with a wrap or straight hair or long hair or whatever. You have to be able to accept their criticism and keep it moving. There is nothing I hate more than unsolicited opinions.

Final Fab Toni Note:

Essentially, you have to be confident in who you are and how you feel about yourself. There will be days when you will hate your hair, but hell, we have those no matter what type of hair style we are rocking. Be steadfast in your pursuit of natural beauty, it will definitely pay off in the the end. And if you gain nothing else, you can at least stand in the rain without thinking about the $150 you spent on a hair-do that can be washed away in 2 minutes!!

Rags to Riches...

This weekend I turned these heads...

Into these heads...

Above is my lovely niece (currently transitioning) and my Lil' K. I've been teaching my niece about her hair and did a cute twist out to show her even transitioning girls can share in the fun...

 I undid K's hair and let her wear it in a fro until I felt like washing and blowing out.

For my niece's hair, I cut about an inch off of the above style all around. She has a lot of breakage because of the transition, so the cut will do her well. I put extensions in her hair to give her some length and to preserve her style while she is with grandma for the summer. Hopefully, with care, these will last about a month and she will have about 1/2 of growth. She will need probably one more cut before she is fully all naturale!

For K's hair...after the fro, I washed and detangled. I blew out and this is her pix after I trimmed her ends...

Look at all that hair! It kinda surprised me too after I saw it! And this is after I trimmed her ends! I only trim her ends maybe once every 4-5 months. Since she will be gone for a long length of time, I wanted her hair to be as healthy as possible.

I braided it in french braids with two rows per section to save the style (hopefully for a month) while she is with grandma.

They were both too cute with their hair done! I was exhausted after this weekend needless to say. I plan to give a little natural hair clinic to my friends' daughters who are currently transitioning and teach them some styles they can do other than just flat ironing. I can't wait to spread the word.

My Natural Soros: Bridgette and Courtney

You never notice how many people in your life are natural until...you go natural. Pictured below are two sisters, who are family friends. I love their hair!

Courtney (above) has been natural for about 3 years. She is rocking a wash and go in the pictures above using Miss Jessies Products (I believe curly pudding, custard, somein' sweet, lol). Bridgette, below has been natural for about 8 years. She is rocking 2 strand twist that were curled at the ends. She also looooves Miss Jessies Products for her hair. I still have yet to purchase anything from the Miss Jessie line. I just can't justify the cost for my hair being so short right now, but once it is their length, I'd definitely give it a whirl!

Isn't black hair shrinkage amazing! Our hair like doubles in size when its stretched! Man, God knew what he was doing.

My Natural Soros

{Source}

So, I am totally obsessed with women with natural hair right now. I find myself targeting them, cornering them and asking them a thousand questions. Typically, the ladies are sweet, understanding, and what was supposed to be a quick run to the store turns into a 20 minute conversation with a complete stranger on her hair journey. Her favorite blogs, her favorite products, how long she's been natural, the list goes on.

I feel like, being natural now has been the first thing to connect me immediately to another woman. Our guards are down. We have a freedom and openness with each other, that typically doesn't exist.

I have a few friends who belong to Sororities. They meet new and old girls that belong to their sorority, they whisper their credentials in the others ear, they hug and they bond. I didn't pledge a Greek sorority, but I feel being natural has made every other natural girl my Soro.

The features on natural girls will be just that. Introducing, my soros, my sisters; another woman who has taken a pledge to rock it 100.